Authentic Love. What is it? Well, I’m no expert on this topic so I’m not going to pretend to be! But, I have studied and researched about it both academically and spiritually. However, what I have came up with was…. Nothing. I didn’t know what real love was after all the reading, research, papers (yes I’ve written papers on love), and personal interviews – I knew nothing. I guess the reason why I didn’t know was because I didn’t see it in my daily life. I knew what inauthentic love was, but I didn’t know real love. Not until I went on a Buddhist retreat ( yes! I am a Buddhist) and asked my Buddhist teacher that very question. His response was simply this: Freedom.
Now some of you may be thinking what do you mean by love is freedom? Well, what that simply means is loving the person whom your with as they are. Now I know that may seems like an abstract idealistic explanation, but its true. The best example I can give is your relationship to your best friend. He/She are beautiful in every way, they are funny, sometimes annoying, trustworthy, can be very hurtful with the truth, but you respect them and cherish their uniqueness above all others. So, what is the difference between your best friend and your lover? Sexual intimacy. Generally, some may not try to change their best friend to be more like you or more like what who you think they should be. Generally, some may not try to be manipulative or abusive in anyway to their best friend, but many people are to their lovers.
So, I want you to ask yourself something: when you say “I love you” who are you truly loving? He/She for who they really are or are you only loving who they have the potential to be?