“The Sex Sense”: Week 4 (Smell)

OK now here we are again with another week of exciting “Sex-inques”. This week I will touch on our exciting sense of Smell. Our sense of smell is an important part of our senses because it allows us to determine different foods and dangerous items being either good or hazardous to our health. It is also the only one of our senses that are directly linked to memory.  Research has shown that smell is intimately linked to parts of the brain that process emotions. The olfactory bulb (turns sensation into perception), is part of the Limbic system, which is the part of the brain that controls behavior, emotions and memory. So when it comes to sex, the sense of smell is one that triggers anticipatory desire that can sometimes go unnoticed. When you’re attracted to a potential partner; one of the first things you notice is how that person smells. However, what you’re actually smelling is that person pheromones within the skin. According to Dr. Louann Brizendine, pheromones are social chemicals that human releases in the air from their skin and sweat glands. Pheromones changes the brain perceptions, emotions and manipulate the desire for sex. Now,  the sense of smell is also linked to our sense of taste. According to the Researchers of Taste Science LLC, what we actually perceive as to what we “taste” is actually the Flavor to what we speak. Flavor is the combination of taste, smell, texture, and temperature.  So when we eat, the taste buds reacts to the odor that’s released from the food, which in turn is how we are able to identify our food.  So, when it comes to this week techniques I want you to focus on your body’s response to smell. If a smell triggers a memory and induce an emotional response, stay in that moment, feel what is meant to be felt whether it’s good or bad. If a smell doesn’t trigger a memory then create a bond and a lasting experience with your senses. The exploration of your senses is all about finding more about yourself through the experience of the pleasures you keep!

Technique 1 Never Smell and Tell

This exercise can be performed with two or more people.  Different food items must be placed on one person either laying down head first or on their back. The other person must be blind fold and they have to smell each item and guess the correct food. If the person guesses wrong then I will leave the consequences up to you!

Technique 2 Guess the Fragrance

This exercise requires two people or more. One person must guess fragrance that the other person has put on. Now, the person who is wearing the fragrance cannot say what they have on even if the other person guesses right. Because the other person must match the fragrance with an emotion or a thought that both partners must agree upon.

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“The Sex Sense”: Week 3 (Taste)

Alright, now it is time to calm down, focus and savor the crusted sensation of Taste. The sense of taste is one that can be very sensitive to some people. The taste of food, wine, beer, and other beverages are simple pleasures that many of us enjoy because it is easy to distinguish are likes from dislikes. It’s a necessity to savor the sweets and reject the sour or the bitter for some people based upon your preference of taste. According to Barbara Liang, author of Wisc-Online.com, we have about 10,000 taste buds, with each bud containing about 100 taste cells. The outer ends of the cells has microvilli, or taste hair, which are a  sensitive part of the taste cells. Chemicals received by the taste hair triggers the stimulation of the taste cells that send impulses on a nerve fiber that travels to the brain.

Our sense of taste are derived from our primary sensations of sweet, sour, salty and bitter. The responsiveness to each sensation are located on varies parts of the tongue. The response of sweets are usually more apparent at the tip of the tongue, sourness is more pronounced at the margins of the tongue, saltines is throughout the tongue and bitterness is at the end of the tongue. So when it comes to sex, some of us are not only aroused by the sight, sound, touch and smell of our partner, but the taste as well and it starts with a Kiss. According to Dr. Louann Brizendine, author of The Male Brain, a kiss is more than just a kiss; its a taste test.  The saliva hold molecules from all the glands and organs in the body, making a French kiss serve as our “Signature flavor.”French kissing collects and send information about each partner’s health and genes directly to the brain. If the genes are to similar, then the kiss would taste sour and could end up terminating or creating an unsatisfactory sexual experience. And if the genes are opposite, then the kiss would taste sweet or to your liking. Scientists have discovered that there are plenty of bio-active testosterone in men’s saliva. It is enough that may activate the sexual-arousal center in the female brain. So, when it comes to this week’s techniques, focus on the taste of your partner among other treats! Savor the flavor of everything or everyone your mouth touches and have fun rediscovering the sensations.

Technique 1 Sweet Marks The Spot!

This an exercise meant for two people or more. You would start out with each person writing down a food item (that is presently on hand) paired with a body part. Then, put each slip of paper is put in a bowl or container and each person take turns drawing each slip of paper out of the bowl and performing the activity on hand. When the food item is on the body part be sure to describe the taste and be amazed at the difference in taste of each person.

Technique 2 Pin The Mouth On The?

This is meant for three people or more. This exercise is structure and performed just like pin the tail on the donkey, but instead of using a donkey it will be a naked person and instead of using “the tail” you’ll use your mouth. But, where you will put your mouth is determined by the slips of paper that each member will put in a container with a different body part. The “donkey” will have different food items on the body part that corresponds to the slips of paper and the other person have find the body part and disclose which food item it contains.

Please keep the responses on each technique coming! I really appreciate everyone sharing their stories!

“The Sex Sense” Week 2 (Sight)

Now we are back with another exciting week of exploring the senses! This week we will discuss the elicited and provocative phenomena of sight. Many of us may agree that the eyes are an important feature of the human body. Not only is it the window to the soul, but it’s also the window to sexual gratification from a visual stimuli. Men and women interpret visual stimulation differently in terms of how they express themselves sexually. Men are more visual then females due to the large amount of testosterone they secrete and their primal instincts to mate with only physically attractive fertile females. So, when it comes to sexual excitement for most men; all they need is to be bombarded with visual stimuli from an attractive partner with hopes of sexual satisfaction. For most women, physical attractiveness is very important, but it’s not the primary motive for mating according to their primal instincts. According to Evolutionary Psychologist David Buss, women are less concerned with a potential husband’s visual appeal and more interested in his material resources and social status. However, when it comes to reading facial cues, body postures, breathing rates, gazes and hand gestures women are natural experts. Brain-imaging studies show that the mere act of observing or imitating another person in a particular emotional state can involuntarily activate similar brain patterns in the observer and- females are especially good at this kind of emotional mirroring. So when it comes to this week techniques, I want everyone to pay particular attention to your body’s response to the visual stimuli that you’re going to be exposed to. Pay attention to breathing rate, dilated pupils, heart rate, muscle spasms and anything else that catches your attention.  I need each of you to focus and be mindful of not only your present state of potential arousal, but  your partner’s as well.

Technique 1 Watch another couple have sex

Please this exercise requires the permission of all consensual adults! No Peeping Toms here! But the idea is to be in the presence of another couple having sex. This technique is meant to exercise the voyeurism inside and pay close attention to how you and your partner respond to such an arousing atmosphere.

Technique 2 Naked times together

This is a fun exercise! This can be performed by yourself or with a partner. However, if you’re with a partner you’re meant to be outdoors naked  taking turns touching and stroking each other bodies. But, before either of you get aroused, rate the sensation on a scale of 1-10. 1 being the “coldest” and 10 being the “hottest”. Now, be sure not to just touch the juicy spots but everywhere else as well. This is a good exercise in watching each person’s response to physical stimuli and really learning and understanding “what turns your partner on!”

       

Technique 3 Strip basketball

Now this is a fun teaser! In celebration of the summer time play strip basketball with your partner. This is a fun exercise to bond and feel comfortable being in your own skin. I highly recommend group strip basketball as well! Enjoy this week!!

“The Sex Sense”: Week 1 (Touch)

Now, as I said in my earlier post each week I will highlight one of our five senses. This week is our sense of Touch. Our sense of touch produces a very powerful physiological response that starts the acceleration of The Sexual Response Cycle. It is the catalyst that’s the driving force behind male and female sexual arousal. Many Sex Therapist have declared that foreplay for a female is Everything! Unfortunately, it doesn’t take long for a man to be aroused they come ready, willing and able! However, for many women touching , kissing, caressing, whispering of soft words, and calm music performed all in a safe and sound environment is a necessity. This is the right combination that is needed for most women to have a positive sexual experience. For many men, touching and caressing is just as important because in order for men to excrete twice as much Oxytocin (the bonding hormone), they must be touched and caressed twice as much. Therefore, the power of touch is one of excitement in anticipatory pleasure for the one who’s being touched and for the one who is doing all the touching. I am introducing three techniques that I want you to try. Some or maybe all the techniques I will mention; many of you have probably already experienced. I implore you to try again, but with the intent of meditating and  focusing on your sense of Touch.

Technique 1 Blindfolded while in the shower! 

This technique is geared for two people performing this exercise together. However, this can still be practiced by a single person as well. Each partner takes turn washing the other while one is blind folded. This is very intense exercise so I would only recommend performing this technique with someone you are very comfortable with.

Technique 2 Caressed by a feather!

This technique is also geared for two people, but can still be performed by a single person. One partner will lay down on their back while the other partner takes a feather and caresses it all over the body. Being blindfolded is optional.

Technique 3  Erotic Massage

This technique is for two people. One partner lays down, face first, on their stomach while the other partner massages their entire body. The style of the massage does not matter, but both couples must be completely naked. The oils that are used does not matter and being blindfolded is optional.

“The Sex Sense”

First, let me begin this entry with an apology for my long awaited absence. I anticipate August being a hot and steamy month for what I have in store! and I’m going to top it off with my coined topic of “The Sex Sense.” Now in celebration leading up to The National Sex Month in September, better known as “Sextember,” I would like to introduce different techniques to extrapolate all five senses. The purpose of these techniques are to get  a workout of your senses in preparation in the following month ahead. It is the act of being more present and mindful in conjunction with sexual activity, as well as discovering a new level of intimacy and eroticism with yourself and the person or people you decide to share it with. Each week I will introduce a different technique accompanied with a different sense that I want you to focus on. What I am introducing is a form of meditation that I want you to harmonize your energies toward. Just as some Buddhist concentrate on the breath as their source in intensifying their practice; so too you will utilize each technique in order to intensify the sensitivity to each new experience that lies a head.