Why do men and women fake orgasms? Now that is a trivial question pointing to two rival factors: social and biological.There are many societal acceptance that associates women being the “culprit ” for faking orgasms and society says: “that’s OK!” Many men and women share common excuses for faking orgasms such as:
- Only mature women do this in order to keep their man.
- We didn’t want our partners to know we didn’t reach orgasm, for the sake of protecting his/her and our own ego.
- We were not quite sure what an orgasm was.
Now there are many many more excuses we give in order to justify our inability to reach full sexual satisfaction, but some fail to realize that they’re biological factors at play as well. Men and women’s cognitive structures are very different because of the amount neuron-hormones they secrete. Women, in general, have a more sensitive route in achieving sexual satisfaction. According to Louann Brizendine M.D. the author of The Female Brain, in order for a woman to be sexually excited her amygdala (area of the brain that controls anger, anxiety and fear) must be deactivated. In other words, a woman must feel comfortable, safe and relaxed before her physiological responses will let her become sexually excited. The amygdala can be reactivated at anytime during sexual activity. Any type of disruption can really caught off a woman’s chance in reaching an orgasm. Whether it be the baby’s crying, the mood is off, your partner’s moans is a turn off, your teenage decided to come home early, etc. Anything or anyone can become your orgasm’s worst enemy and your worst nightmare!
Now for the men, men are very visual creatures. Men’s arousal are activated due to their primal instincts of female attractiveness. According to John Townsend the author of What Women Want-What Men Want:Why the Sexes Still See Love and Commitment So Differently, unconsciously men associates wide hips, clear skin, shiny hair, and firm breast as signs of fertility. Therefore, men’s primary turn on is with the female body or the male body they are attracted to. Now I have seen such cases when men are deceived due to women’s style of clothing. Nowadays you can add or take away whatever part of your body that needs adjustment. But sometimes this can put men in really compatible situations where they are left feeling disgusted with themselves because they weren’t attracted to the” woman’s actual body.” Now when this happens, your brain is telling you that your partner would not be a good candidate for procreation. However, still they’re many different variables that can further explain why you cannot achieve an orgasm. Faking it will only get you but so far until you become utterly pissed and annoyed with your partner’s very existence! But I digress…. The important message here is to communicate, experiment and know your body’s physiological responses so you can better understand yourself as a sexual being.