One of the reasons why I’m such a strong advocate for healthy sexual practices is because it create a strong bond or connection between both partners. When you choose to be sexually intimate with someone; you are choosing to surrender some of your barriers and acknowledge your vulnerability to that person. Now the reason why only some of your barriers are being surrendered is because you are choosing to trust that person with your life (i.e STIs, unwanted pregnancies, assaults, etc). It does not matter how well or how little you know that person the initial process is always the same when you choose to trust. Now the beautiful thing about sex is ability to feel your partner’s energy field. Now the energy field implies the vibration frequency of your current state of mind or emotion. Every living and non-living thing has a vibration frequency attached to it. This is why we are able to empathizes with one another as well as sense positive or negative energy when we associate ourselves among a crowd. Therefore, the energy field that you can sense is your partner’s current emotion.
Part of what of makes good sex are both energy fields connecting and bonding with one another.The energy fields are vibrating at the same frequency, which mean both partners are on the same page on what they want or what they are looking for at that current moment. So, whether it be “we’re just fucking” or “we’re just making love” both partners are communicating effectively in their relationship pertaining to what they want. Therefore, sex can merely be just a reflection of your current communication skills in the relationship. Now a disconnect occurs when both partners are not on the same page. Whether it’s one person choosing to open up their heart and the other person is choosing to hold back or one person just wants to fuck while the other person is trying to make love, or etc. You can feel that disconnect or awkwardness that takes over the moment. Now some people choose to ignore it and others choose to acknowledge it, but they don’t understand how to articulate what it is that they’re feeling. So what happens ? Well, we create an illusion of how we want to feel. We create a person that doesn’t exist because we want to hide our pain and suffer less by attaching to the one thing that feels good: Sex.
Therefore, communication is key! If something doesn’t feel right say something! I guarantee your partner feels the same way it’s all about who will be brave enough to say the first word!