I know I sound very weird for saying this, but ejaculation during sex is so over rated! Now before you decide to stop reading this Please Listen and Hear Me Out! Society and the American culture puts so much emphasizes on  men to perform that they lose out on the beauty of just being in the moment. I mean actually focusing their awareness on the breath, the smell, taking in the atmosphere, feeling how good he/she feels to you at that particular moment. Understanding that there is no one else in this world that matter right now, but your partner. It’s important to feel the connection that is established at that moment of impact. Imprint his/her smell, touch, body, aroma, sight, taste and sound and I guarantee whether you ejaculate or not it will go unnoticed…

FUN FACTS

Men are taught to rigidly conform to cultural myths and have lots of guilt and negative feelings if they don’t hold up their end, especially if their  sexual needs differ from the culturally accepted norms. If they have difficulty in achieving the standards of maleness they are told to remain silent and bear the load. The limits imposed by these standards inhibit men from exploring and fulfilling the total range of sexual options.

Some men have difficulties just learning how to receive because they are so use to performing just to get  results. There is a growing awareness in our culture today that men are seeking to discover their uniqueness as being male. We are beginning to see both men and women redefining their relationship, each to the other. This will require a lot of healing of wounds inflicted by self on self and on the other. So here are some FUN SUGGESTIONS!!! to increase your options and enjoy being in the moment!

1. Receive strokes. Explain to your partner how you want to be touched.

2. Share feelings. Ask your partner to share with you.

3. Masturbate freely; be your own lover at least once a week.

4. Have sex only when YOU want it.

5. Seek the kinds of sexual experiences you want.

6. Learn how to play with your sexual response cycle. Imagine how you would like something you’ve never tried.

7. Learn to say YES.

8. Learn to say NO.

9. Talk about sex with your partner.

10. Pamper yourself.

11. Touch yourself all over.

12. Take a long hot bath for pleasure after you shower for cleanliness.

13. Stroke your body with velvet, feathers, leather, anything you wish.

14. Touch your partner’s body for your own pleasure.

15. Have a sexual experience with your partner without having sex.

16. Lick.

17. Breath.

18. Look at your body, all over, in the mirror.

19. Look at your partner’s body.

20. DON’T PERFORM.

Enjoy!!

Let me know how it goes!!

Please let me know if any of these suggestions worked for you!

Masturbation is self-stimulation for sexual pleasure. Every part of the body can be stimulated, but usually the focus is on the genitals. Masturbation usually, but not always leads to orgasm. Now, there are no “right ways” or “wrong ways” to masturbate! Masturbation is not limited to genital jacking or jilling off, but can include the whole body. Some people find ways to masturbate and orgasm without fondling their genitals manually such as:

1. Squeezing the legs together.

2 Kegel exercises

3 Rubbing the pelvis against a pillow, bed, or the floor while on their stomach.

4 Running a stream of water over the genitals

5 Fantasizing

6. Caressing other places on the body: ears, nipples, thighs, etc.

7. Wearing tight pants, riding motorcycles, bicycles, or horses. Use your imagination!

FUN FACT

According to the Kinsey Study, 90% of men interviewed masturbated to orgasm in four minutes or less. 40% of women interviewed masturbated. 70% of these women reached orgasm in 3 to 5 minutes.

Sexual Fantasies can be look at as a reorganization of bits and pieces of memory. These memories can be motor, sensory or mental/ symbolic. They may be so drastically reorganized that we don’t even recognize the original component. Now, some fantasies are very clear and well-defined. Others can be merely fleeting impressions. However, not all of our fantasies are sexual fantasies. Some may be about the future, tonight’s date, your vacation next week, or a shopping trip, etc. Fantasies can occur in the waking hours or semi-sleep, or they may occur during deep sleep; which are formally known as “dreams”.

Fantasies may occur unexpectedly or we may try to produce fantasy material during sexual activity. Fantasies are most commonly used during masturbation! According to Kinsey Research, 64% of women and 89% of men interviewed fantasized while masturbating. Therefore, 36% of women and 11% of men have never fantasized while masturbating.

Please tell me if this is true: People who fantasize during masturbation may also fantasize while engaged in sexual activity with a partner. As well as, some sexual dreaming.

Fantasies may be a foundation for sexual pleasure, but many of us have been inaccurately taught that “normal” sex covers a very controlled range of behavior. We sometimes feel guilty, embarrassed,  or ashamed if our fantasies go beyond these limitations. We need to realize that both our behaviors and fantasies are considered within the range of “normal” sexual behavior. It is beneficial to be aware of what other people do. We will learn that our fantasies are not “strange” or “abnormal”, but unique and widely shared.

Plus, talking about our sexual fantasies with others can give us sense of connectedness and support or even more ideas to fantasize about. It can be a source of sexual enrichment and of course sharing sexual fantasies with our partner can be a  very powerful intimate experience as well!

So, I challenge all of you to talk with someone about your sexual fantasies, compare notes and I will almost guarantee that your ideas are not so far fetch!

Authentic Love. What is it?  Well, I’m no expert on this topic so I’m not going to pretend to be! But, I have studied and researched about it both academically and spiritually. However, what I have came up with was…. Nothing. I didn’t know what real love was after all the reading, research, papers (yes I’ve written papers on love), and personal interviews – I knew nothing. I guess the reason why I didn’t  know was because I didn’t see it in my daily life. I knew what inauthentic love was, but I didn’t know real love. Not until I went on a Buddhist retreat ( yes! I am a Buddhist) and asked my Buddhist teacher that very question. His response was simply this: Freedom.

Now some of you may be thinking what do you mean by love is freedom? Well, what that simply means is loving the person whom your with as they are. Now I know that may seems like an abstract idealistic explanation, but its true. The best example I can give is your relationship to your best friend. He/She are beautiful in every way, they are funny, sometimes annoying, trustworthy, can be very hurtful with the truth, but you respect them and cherish their uniqueness above all others. So, what is the difference between your best friend and your lover? Sexual intimacy. Generally, some may not try to change their best friend to be more like you or more like what who you think they should be. Generally, some may not try to be manipulative or abusive in anyway to their best friend, but many people are to their lovers.

So, I want you to ask yourself something: when you say “I love you” who are you truly loving? He/She for who they really are or are you only loving who they have the potential to be?

Spirituality is the realization of the experience of oneness to all sentient beings by discovering the essence of your own true nature. Sexuality is the expression of You as a sexual being.Thus, creating the Spiritual Side of Sex as a conceptual way of the ability to express one’s self true nature as a sexual being and to recognize and appreciate the connectedness we share as human beings.